Judith T Crews , 63
Judith T. Crews, 63, of 1 St. Charles Place, New Castle, died the evening of October 25, 2008 in Jameson Hospital.
Born on March 23, 1945, in New Castle, to the late Joseph W. and Constance K. Falba Krueger. She married Paul N. Crews Sr. September 30, 1964. He preceded her in death on April 13, 1984. Judith is survived by her companion of 22 years, Kenneth S. Ford of New Castle.
Ms. Crews was a loving homemaker for her family. She previously worked for Universal Rundle as a finisher and the New Castle Restaurant.
She attended Shenango High School. Judith enjoyed cooking, bingo, music and watching wrestling. She just loved flowers.
Judith was a former member of S.S. Phillip and James Church.
In addition to her companion, Kenneth, survivors include a son, Paul N. Crews Jr. and partner Chet Ratcliff of St. Petersburg, FL; three daughters, Pamela S. Crews and partner Keith Horvath, Sheila L. Crews and partner Rob Enscoe and Stacy R. Toy and partner Tammy Scurlock all of New Castle; one brother, Patrick Cain of New Castle; four sisters and brother-in-laws, Barbara and Leonard Lidak, Laurel and John Frank, Connie and Dave Amodie, and Diana and Clyde McConnell all of New Castle; eight grandchildren, Ashley Crews, Madison Toy, Suzanna Scurlock, Tiffany Murphey, Corrina Toy, Lindsey Crews, Michael L. Scurlock Jr., and Kami Enscoe all of New Castle.
She is preceded in death by her parents and husband, Paul N. Crews Sr..
Calling hours are 2 to 4 p.m. and 6 to 8 p.m., Tuesday, October 28, at the Noga Funeral Home, Inc., 1142 S. Mill St New Castle.
A funeral service will be conducted at 10:00 a.m., Wednesday, October 29, at the funeral home. The Rev. Larry Llewellyn of Hoover Heights Christian and Missionary Alliance will officiate. Burial will be in St. Joseph Cemetery.
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Guestbook
Chet & Paul
Posted on November 10, 2008
Mom with her "boys".
stacy
Posted on November 9, 2008
I miss you so much. Life is not the same without you. Three kisses dear Angel. All my love, Always...Stac
Timmy Pizzitola
Posted on October 27, 2008
You Will Be Sadly Missed
Paul
Posted on October 27, 2008
I just lost my BEST friend and guardian angel. Everyone thinks they have the best mother, but you were the BEST and you were much much much more. Your love, guidance and acceptance of all my choices in life can be matched by no other. I know when I look in the skies at night you will be the brightest star watching over me. You were my world Mom, my life. My heart is empty & aching. I don't know I am going to live without you, our talks, our long distance hugs and closeness that no one could ever replace. I love you "Mommie Dearest". I always will. Paul.
Chet
Posted on October 27, 2008
My Dearest Judy, You are my "Second Mother" and the sweetest friend I could ever ask for. I will miss you with all my heart and soul. I hope you realized what an impact you had made in my life and everyone around you. You made me realize that there are still wonderful, caring and loving people in this world. You will always have a VERY SPECIAL place in my heart!!! Until we meet again " My Friend" I will love and miss you deeply. Chet
Tammy
Posted on October 27, 2008
For those that didn't know, You WERE the most amazing Mother-in-law than anybody could have. I told you before and I will tell you again, THANK YOU for the amazing gift you have given me. MY FAMILY!!! May you find the peace you have been searching for forever. You will be sladly missed and warmly remembered. Love always, Tammy
Stacy
Posted on October 27, 2008
Momma , Bubba , Littleone... All names by which you answered me to. But the most important name you honored me by answering to was my VERY best friend. We shared more than the common mother , daughter bond. Our relationship went way beyond any I have ever encountered. I sit here , broken , lost and confused. I was not ready to let you go. I had so much left to say. So many adventures to take with you. But you have left me so many glorious memories. I promise to take all that you have taught me and use all of it in my life. Because you made my life the best I could have ever hoped or dreamed of. I know you are in a much better place now. No suffering. No pain. No regrets Bubba. My mother , My best friend, My true life hero. I love you with all my heart and soul. The love you gave here on earth will carry on throughout this lifetime. Remember , three kisses always..Past , Present and Future. I will see you again. I promise.
Stacy
Kenny
Posted on October 28, 2008
I love you, and will miss you so much.
i love you buddy.
Your husband and best friend,
Kenny♥♥
Lynda Ridenbaugh Powers
Posted on October 28, 2008
My prayers and thoughts are with all of you on the loss of your mother. Judy was my dear friend who lived across the street. I will always have fond memories of us as kids and adults. It was an honor for me to be her maid of honor at Paul and her wedding. I remember each of you children as babies and your mom showing you off. She will be sadly missed. May you find comfort knowing she is in a better place. God Bless you all. Lynda
Lindsey
Posted on October 28, 2008
Grandma,
You will always be missed and loved by soo many people who care so much about you.
i rememeber back when you lived in the old house, and how when u made porkchops, and stuff all of us kids would line up across the counter and hand you bread and have you dip it in the sause. I love you sooo much, and there always gona be a big place in my heart just for you, and for all the times we shared together. I'll never forget you granny. I miss you gram.
<3/
Love always,
Lini
Ashley Crews
Posted on October 30, 2008
Love you and miss you more and more every second that goes by. I can always remember when you told me don't worry when my time is Done on this earth I want you to know that I am going to heaven because I am saved. That touched my heart to know that so I don't never have to wonders where you are. You mean the world to and you will always have a spot in my heart. I wish I has more time with you.. We has so many things to do and so many plans undone... In my "heat of gold" I know you are watching over me through my life and I am always thinking about you and alll the fun we had together playing cards, yathzee and so many other things.. I can remember the day I got accepted to Bulter Community College. I ran so fast to your house to share the good news with you.. I will always remember all the advice you have giving me through out my life. Love you and I will never forget you no matter what..
Love you Grandma "mom"
Love u Ashley
Mikey
Posted on November 2, 2008
I am going to miss you alot. i love you so much. R.I.P Grandma
Rena.
Posted on November 2, 2008
Dear Granny,
I miss you always. i love you so very much. i really want you with me now. i don't just want to think about you and hear your answers, i want to see you, in person. i want to give you kisses and hug you. i want to play cards and watch Golden Girls with you. i really want your coooking because it truely was the most amazing food i have ever had and nobody in this world, ever, will top it. But i can't do those things anymore and it beaks my heart. i just miss you so much. i don't understand why you had to leave so soon. i was not ready and i know that you weren't either. you had a bad life and just when it got better and you got your new stove, fridge, couches, etc., your life was taken away from you, just like that. it's so not fair. i need to have you with me. i will always remember you. we've had great memories together. i just wish we could make more. i don't know what to do without you here with me. but, i do know that you (one of my best friends, my other momma) are watching over me, up there in heaven. you were THE BEST granny that anybody in the world could ever have. i am so very thankful that i have gotten the chance to know you and be close to you. i know that we will meet again some day. and that when we do, it wont be like we haven't seen each other in a long time, it will be like i just saw you yesterday. i'm not saying goodbye forever, i'm saying a little goodbye until we meet again. like i've told you in my prayers, everything that i do good in my life is dedicated to you, my love, my granny.
With ALL the Love in My Heart,
Your baby Rena.
suzanna
Posted on November 2, 2008
dear grandma,what can i say well lets start with i lovee you and miss you so much.theses last 5 years have been wonderful with you.the memories i will take with me for a life time.butt i miss you so much<33 love always,suzanna
madison
Posted on November 2, 2008
grandma i miss you so much and i love you so much. not having you here with us is very hard to deal with. i miss your kisses, your phone calls, your cooking, your excitement. nothing will be the same without you. i hope you found peace and you lived a happy life. you will be with me always and because of you i am a stronger person and will continue to be a stronger person.
i love you grandma
rest in peace
love you, maddie
Paul
Posted on November 3, 2008
Mom, you always told me how strong I was & how proud you were of me, even when I didn't always succeed, you were proud for my attempts & always told me "better days are coming sweetie". This past week has been most difficult. Being the "big brother" & fav Uncle comes with alot of responsibilities. I have been strong, I have been weak. I have cried until my eyes could no longer produce tears, then cried in my heart. I have laughed, remembering our late night conversations, millions upon millions cards & letters. Even being away from each other for the past ten years, we were as close as a mother & son could be. I'm numb right now, but my heart is mending, because you would want it that way. You looked absolutely beautiful, angelic like. The lessons you have taught me, my sisters and the grandchildren will be your legacy. So many people are missing you, have loved you and will continue to love you. I will be on here more often than normal, because I miss you and love you with every essence of my being. You were more than the wind beneath my wings, more than a wonder woman & more loving and caring than any human being I have yet to meet in my lifetime. I will always have you with me, every day, every week, every month, every hour, every minute, every second of my breathing life. When I see you in heaven, please squeeze me as hard as you always have with a mighty hug and know that I will be with you when it is time. I adore you. I love you, and I miss you more than humanly possible. XoXo. Paulie
Paul
Posted on November 5, 2008
One of many cherished memories of "Me & You". I love you.
Paul
Posted on November 5, 2008
Picture to the right, yellow top, BIG smile, "Judy Crews" on a "CRUISE". . .U are so missed and loved by all.
Chet
Posted on November 10, 2008
Chet & "Mom"
Paul
Posted on November 10, 2008
XoXo!
Paul
Posted on November 10, 2008
So, today (11/10) was the day I was to fly in "just to visit", not because you were ill or in the hospital, but "just because". It hasn't been very long, but I miss you so. . . You have given me so much of yourself, unconditionally. I have the most vivid, precious, loving memories of you Mom. All the letters you have written me in the past 10 years, all the cards, all saying how much you missed me, loved me, and proud you were of me. I will always be proud of you, always miss you and always love you Mom. I cannot wait til we are hand in hand again, laughing, smiling and joking, just like always. Just as you said you looked into the sky at night for the brighest star, thinking and knowing it was ME, I will be doing the same thing for you. My heart is empty, yet full of love for you. I wish more people could experience the special relationship that we shared. It was and will always be irreplaceable. Hugs and kisses, Holla holla....P
Mikey
Posted on November 10, 2008
I Miss You So Much Grandma <333333
Stacy
Posted on November 12, 2008
Dear Bubba, I miss you soooo much. I'm so very sorry about the things that are happening on this earth. Everything is out of the love I have in my heart for you. I know you pretended to be happy for us kids. I wish that you could nave had a happier life here. And I hope that you are at peace in Heaven. I know that you would not approve of the things that Ken is doing , and that you understand why we are trying to protect you even after death. I will fight for you til the end. You are my heart and soul. Three kisses sweet angel. Stac
Paul
Posted on November 12, 2008
I looked up into the Heavens last night and saw you shining down upon me. Always watching over me, near or far. I miss you so much, especially our late night phone chats. We squeezed a whole days worth into seconds, minutes and hours sometimes. . . even a uneventful day was exciting, as long as we were sharing it with each other, best friends. You have given me the gift, and that gift is, no matter who I meet, I see good in them, just as you always have, and whoever meets me, just seems to like me, whether I realize it or not. To call you an ANGEL or a SAINT is a huge understatement, because there are no words to describe how much you loved, how hard you loved and how much YOU ARE LOVED. I continue to talk to you (only not on the phone) and I hear your sweet angelic voice guiding me along my daily trials and tribulations. Mom, it was too soon for you-that we all know, but we came together as a family, as always, and I know you would be, NO, make that YOU ARE proud of all of us. Your legacy lives on inside each and everyone of us and we miss you more than mere words can ever convey. Holla holla....With my never ending love, P.
Stacy
Posted on November 16, 2008
Just wanted to say I love and miss you soooo much. Your always on my mind and in my heart. Three kisses!
Paul
Posted on November 24, 2008
So, its been a whole month now. It feels like an eternity Mom. I pulled out my cell the other day to call you-the first time since-and it hit me like a ton of bricks! We talked ALL the time, at ALL hours about ALL things. I still do, only I'm looking up at you in heaven. I find the brightest star, just like you always said you did, and pray you are in a better place, still looking over me, guiding me and protecting me as you ALWAYS have. I'm still going thru, re-reading the tons of cards and letters that you have wrote me over the past 10 years, so filled with love, pride and support. You were(are)one-of-a-kind Judy. . .My heart is still empty and my life will always have this void, but when I look at the pictures of you, I see a woman who has endured so much pain, disappointment and struggles in your 63 years of life but no-one would know it, because you always smiled and persevered. The twinkle in those same eyes shows the love and gratitude that you had for anyone who showed you any type of kindness, whether it was just a hello or a random act of kindness. YOU ARE MISSED BY SO MANY that I don't even think you would believe it if you were here to. We are all going to miss you most during the holidays because you made them so special and filled with love. I'll talk to you tonite Mom, just like everynight, and thank you once again for being my BEST friend and confidant. I love you, "Mommie Dearest" and ALWAYS will......P
Stacy
Posted on December 15, 2008
My dear Bubba , Christmas is just around the corner and I'm so lonely without you. I know that Christmas was always one of your favorite holidays , so i'm doing it for you and my family just like you would have wanted. I know that your presence is always with me. I hear you. I see you. I thank God for you every day. You have made me a stronger person. I am so grateful for all that you taught me and the kids. I will never , ever , forget any of it. I hope to be half the mother you were ( and still are ). I love you with all I have. Three kisses. Always.
Chet
Posted on December 31, 2008
Good Evening my darling Judy, Well its New Years Eve 2008 another end to another year . What a year this has been... We all miss you very much but know that you are with us every moment of the day. Not a moment that does not go by with out a thought of you. Hopefully 2009 will be the start of a new beginnning for all of us. We know we are not going into another year alone. We know you are going to lead us on every path of every journey and we will feel comfort knowing we have an Angel on our side always watching over us. Thank you so much for the past 16 years that I have been a part of your family and thank you for allowing to be part of such a wonderful experience known as " The Judy Crews Experience"... Happy New Year Ms.Crews... Love you always ! Chet
PAUL
Posted on December 31, 2008
New Years Eve, '08. Mom, how I miss you so. It seems like forever yet it also seems like yesterday. There is not a second that goes by that you are not on my mind. Life just isn't worth living without you in it. The only thing that gets me thru it is your wise words of wisdom, your loving voice comforting me (in my mind). This has been hands down the worst year ever, but you are in a better place, no more suffering. I hope you see me putting on a brave face and continuing to make you proud of me? No one will ever have what we had and I can't imagine how anyone couldn't love you. Tonite, my New Years resolution will be as it always has, to love you and my family more than anything else in this world. I miss you, Chet misses you and anyone who was lucky enough to know you, MISSES YOU. Rest peacefully my sweet angel and protect me as you always have. I love you dearly. Miss you more. "Paulie"
Tammy
Posted on January 21, 2009
Here I sit, thinking of you and being so incredibly thankful for having known you, having loved you and having you in my life even for such a short time. There truly isn't a day that goes by that you are not thought of lovingly. There is not a day that goes by that you are not remember for even the slightest thing. But, mostly you are just missed. I am so thankful for having the opportunity to witness the love you shared with your children and for being welcomed into your family and into your loving arms. I know you are watching down on us with pride and knowing that you are remembered on a daily basis. Loving and Missing you, Tammy
Paul
Posted on January 25, 2009
So, I'm thinking of you-tears rolling down my face. I try to keep it together Mom, but there isn't a SECOND in any day that you are not on my mind. I can't believe it has been 3 months , such a short timespan, yet it feels like an ETERNITY. The whole in my heart seems to be increasing instead of healing. Your passing has left an enormous VOID in my life. I lost my mother, my BEST friend, my confidant, my therapist, my hero and my number one fan. I do not have ONE bad memory of you. I wish MORE people could have the type of relationship that we shared. You have encouraged, discouraged and provided courage. I miss your voice, your cards, your face. If there is an afterlife, I hope your's is filled with love and gratitude. I hope you were welcomed to heaven and are taking care of all of those in need, just as you have done on earth. For me-it is not getting easier, and to be honest, I dont know HOW I am surviving. . .it must be you watching over me, protecting me and guiding me? I love you sooooooo much and miss you more than even I could imagine. Hear my prayers and feel my thoughts. Remember, we always had an ESP bond. I lOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART & SOUL and MISS YOU even more. Paul.
Stacy
Posted on January 27, 2009
My dearest bubba , I am without a doubt a mess here without you. You were always my rock. You were always the one I wanted when things went wrong or by my side when things were really going good. I have a really hard time trying to find any good in this world now that your gone. There is not one SECOND that goes by that I don't think of you.You are talked about and remembered every single day. I told you that I would take care of you and that I would never , ever forget you. I hope that I am keeping that promise to you. You are in my heart , forever on my mind and always in my prayers. My love for you will never die out. For you , I am eternally gratefull. You have given me what no other person on this earth has. You are like no other. And I am so proud to say you are and always will be my mother , my friend and so much more that no one will ever understand. Three kisses my Bubba.
Stacy
Posted on February 16, 2009
Bubba, I miss you so much. Sometimes I feel like I can't find any meaning in this world without you. It hasn't gotten any easier like people say it will. I don't believe it ever will. I can't forget you. I can't even imagine how i'm ever going to be ok that your not here. I still pick up the phone to call you. I still want to ask if you called while I was gone. It's so heartbreaking. I have lost so much when I lost you. But your presence still lingers here. I'm happy that does though. I need it to get me through. I love you mom. I always have and I always will.
Ashley
Posted on February 24, 2009
Hi Gram,
I wanted to stop by and say I miss you and love you so much words can't express how I feel. You were everything a person can ask for. I wish you were here. Even those I know you are looking down and watching over me it's not the same and it never will be. I am glad I was part of your family and you stoped loving me. Just know that there are people in my life still taking care of your baby. I wouldnt known if they didnt step up to the plate but they did. I am pretty lucky and I will never replace you with anyting or anyone no matter. Thanks for always believing in me and never giving uo on me. I will make you proud... Miss you. I love you. Just know that I am doing my best taking care of all of your little ones. They miss you too.
Ashley
Posted on February 24, 2009
last pics posted 2/24/09
Ashley
Posted on February 24, 2009
last 4 pics have been posted 2/24/09
Stacy
Posted on February 27, 2009
My dearest Bubba, I'm sitting here very hurt and confused as to why you grandchild Lindsey would ever in a million years put a picture of my children on your website like the one she did. My girls are heartbroken over it. They would never want it to seem like such a joke that you are gone. They miss you every day, as do I. We think of you constantly. Talk of you so very often. Me and Tammy went to see Paul and Chet at the beginning of the month. It was very nice. We spoke of all the good times we had with you and how you were always so funny and such a goodhearted woman. We all agree that no one in this world will ever be YOU. All of us kids are still trying so hard to understand and accept what has happened with you. You are still the best friend and mother a child could ask for. And yes I still protect you from anything I feel is harmfull or negative about you. I just remember that WE knew you the best. Your sense of humor and the way you had of making everyone feel at ease is something I hope to master in this lifetime. You are a legend. And your life will never have been in vain. It didn't stop, nor will it ever stop, just because your no longer here. I love you so much Mommy. I know that YOU know that. Three kisses to a remarkable woman.
Paul
Posted on March 2, 2009
Hi Mom. . .It feels like forever since I have "wrote" those two words down. Of course we "talk" everyday & everynight, but writing it down is difficult. You are always on my mind, in my heart, in my soul. I finally got all my pictures organized, and yes, there now is a "shrine" dedicated to you in my room. Just looking into those wonderful eyes of yours makes me feel the love and protection you always provided to me-to all of us. I fear that your sister Laurel is not doing very well. I know how much she means to you and to me as well. I can't imagine losing my "second" mother, just after losing you, only time will tell. Mom, it still hurts so bad and I feel so empty. I miss so many things about you, but especially the laughter and "pep" talks. You knew me so well, and NEVER judged me. This heartache will never end, heck, it's barely subsided, but I know that you wouldn't want me crying my eyes out, at least not in public. I miss you sweetie, and I love you dearly. You were my everything. You STILL are. Hugs & kisses, Love Paulie.
Stacy
Posted on March 20, 2009
My Bubba, Where on earth do I start? I really am having such a hard time without you. I hate to keep writing it because I know you would just want me to be a fighter and go on for the people that love me. Sometimes I'm not so sure I can. Monday is your birthday , and I'm a mess. I can't believe you will not be here to celebrate it. My heart aches so bad. How on earth could you really be gone?! I still don't believe it. I look around and I'm thinking that your here. Then it hits me like lightening that your not here and I won't see you again. Mommie, you truely are a blessing. You could never know how deeply you are loved or thought of. I can not express to you enough how much I love you and how my heart bleeds for you. You were my salvation. I don't think I can do this without you. I just want to see one more smile. Have one more of your hugs or kisses. One more day. One more chance. Just one more of everything that might keep you here. But, there is no more "ones" of anything. I'm just missing you. I'm just remembering you. How could I ever forget?? I couldn't. Your "babies" are doing good though. They still have a hard time dealing with the fact that your gone. Especially little Rena. But I guess when something tragic happens when your a child it's easier somehow to find a way to just move on. But, I'm sure you have gathered from my note that it is not that easy being me. Mommie , I love you more than you ever could have thought possible. And I miss you incredibly.One day we will be together again. That reunion will be so bittersweet. Just wait, with open arms and when I get there please just hold me tight. I am still amazed by you. You have all my love. Three Kisses !
Paul
Posted on March 22, 2009
I'm missing you so much Mom, not just today, which would have been your 64th birthday, but everyday. There STILL is not a minute that goes by that I am not thinking of you. A song, a TV show, a memory, it doesn't matter what it is, I am drawn to thoughts of you. This has been the hardest 5 months of my entire life. For what would have been your birthday, I am hoping you are at peace, free of pain and with your "ohter" loved ones. I know you are with me, in spirit, watching over me, my sisters and your grandaughters. Some people search a lifetime and still NEVER have what you have given to us all. To call you an angel is an understatement. I will always have you, inside of me. Thank you for giving up so much for me. You would never look at it that way, but you made some serious sacrifices for your children & there isn't any other word to describe you other than AMAZING. On your birthday, I am remembering and celebrating the most wonderful woman and Mother ever to have lived. My tears today are of happiness and gratitude for all you have done to enrich my life and growth. I love you now & always "Mommie Dearest". God, I miss you ! Muah muah.
Stacy
Posted on March 23, 2009
Today is your 64th birthday Bubba. Happy Birthday. I wish with all my heart that I was saying those words to you in person. But , I will say them to you this year and every year that follows. This is hard. So hard. But I will say to you this..The tears I cry are selfish. I want you here. But , I look at it the same way Paulie does. I'm also so grateful that you are no longer suffering or sick. You no longer have to live with the uncertainty of what is going to happen tomorrow. For that I am eternally grateful. You are the best person I have ever knew. Always there for your kids. Always there to lend a hand to anyone who needed it. You always went out of your way to make sure everyone had what they needed.Mommie, I miss you. I love you. I know they say time heals all wounds. It's going to take forever for this on to heal. But , I do want to wish the most fabulous, most amazing , most compassionent woman there ever was or ever will be, a very happy birthday. No more suffering Bubba. No more pain. You have left behind a legacy. And be proud as I am of the children you have raised. Without you we would never be who we are today. You are the one who taught us love. The REAL meaning of love. And as I too sit here with tears running down my cheeks , they are of celebration. To the woman who rocked the world with her sense of being. I am more proud to be your daughter than you would believe. So rest now Bubba. Enjoy being with your family. I'm sure they are celebrating this day with you too. Happy Birthday . With all the love my heart has to give. Missing you , Stacy Three Kisses and Three enormous hugs.
Stacy
Posted on March 25, 2009
Hey you. I still remember calling you and saying "hey you " and you would say "hey you". God I miss that. Today is exactly 5 months that you've been gone. Feels like years. When will I ever get over this? I know the answer to that question already. NEVER ! How can I let it go?! All I think about is you. You were my strenth. I don't have it without you. I miss you so much mommie. More than words can say , more than I could ever write. My heart has a hole in it that can never be filled. And I don't want it to be. It's yours. Now and forever. I keep on replaying everything in my mind. I'm being completly being selfish I know.I know your in a better place. I know you were tired. I know you were ready. I know you were sick of being sick.And I guess I just thought you would live forever. I had hoped anyway. Now your not here and it hurts so bad. I will never on this earth hear your voice. But again that's me being selfish. I'm sorry. Just know that I love and miss you. This day and every one that i'm alive. Three kisses to my warm, loving Bubba.
Stacy
Posted on March 31, 2009
Mommie , I just wanted you to know that I am still thinking of you every day and missing you every moment. I still look at your picture next to my bed and give it three kisses before I go to sleep. We can't put you in past tense because we keep you alive in this house , in our minds and especially in our hearts. We just like to think that your on a much needed vacation. Denial it isn't. Love it is. There are no bad memories , only happy ones. I hope to carry out the relationship with my children that you have bestowed upon me. You are the rolemodel I want to be. I'm working on it. And I will do it. For every one involved. I love you mommie. Always.
Stacy
Posted on April 7, 2009
Mommie, Easter is just around the corner, and I'm thinking about all the Easter's we use to sit and color eggs with you. First when I was little than again when I had babies of my own. You were always a part of it. You always had that childlike sparkle in your eyes during the holidays. I think you had just as much fun as the kids. All your grandchildren loved to be around you during the holidays. Your cooking was just a great bonus. I'm missing you as always but I'm also remembering many times of pure happiness with you. I love you Bubba , three kisses!
Paul
Posted on April 25, 2009
Six months. . . six WHOLE months without hearing your voice, getting your cards and letters, sharing my life with you and hearing about yours. It feels like an eternity Mom. Sounds cliche, but I absolutely never wanted this time to come, but I am glad you broke MY heart, instead of me breaking yours. the pain is never ending. An empty hole, that seems like it will never close. There is so much to miss about you-I guess thats why it hurts so bad. Maybe if you weren't as wonderful as you were it wouldn't be as bad. I'm so grateful for so many things you taught me. You always said we were "survivors" and I guess that is what I am trying to do, survive? I have my tight-as-can-be bond with Stacy, and we spport each other any way we possibly can. It's like we are the same person sometimes, "twins" but 7 years apart. We have the same heart as you. Mom, I think of you throughout the day when I am awake and dream about you at night. I miss you beyond any words or gestures could ever convey. I know you are watching over me (still) and I hope I am (still) living my life to your high standards, anything less would be an insult to your wonderful prenting. Just ONE more kiss, ONE more hug, ONE more "I love you, baby", ONE more game of Yahtzee or ONE more of your fabulous meals, just ONE. What I wouldn't do. . . Please know that you are always a part of me & will always will be. Do you "Believe". I love you 4-ever. . .and miss you even MORE . . . Paul.
Stacy
Posted on April 26, 2009
Six months? Six years? I guess it doesn't really matter. Your gone. It hurts like a knife through the heart. But I guess that's basicly what it is. Losing you has ripped me apart. My heart has a hole that will NEVER be filled. I lost my very , very best friend. My best of everything. As Paul said , at least we have eachother. And the relationship I have with him I would not trade for anything. We had the same relationship with you. It was very personal. We understand eachother so much and feel the same about so much. Thank you mom for giving me the most wonderful brother (twin ) I could ever dream of having. You always were great at taking care of things.
I just wanted to let you know that I love you Bubba, so very much. And if it is at all possible , I think I love you even more now than I ever have. You really are one of a kind. The best of all things. I'm trying very hard to hold my life together to show you that you taught me well and that I learned alot from you. You NEVER gave up. Not even when it seemed you'd never catch a break. You just kept on going. And that's what I have to do too. In honor of you and because I too would not ever want to bring pain upon my family.
I'm happy your suffering is over. I'm glad the pain is gone. And I'm thankfull that when I think of you I see a big smile on your face and a joke I will never forget. I will NEVER forget you mom. That is a promise. I love you and miss you. Three kisses I send to you until we meet again.
PAUL
Posted on May 10, 2009
Mother's Day. . .A day for remembering and honoring our Mothers. Well, I never needed a special day to celebrate you Mom. Everyday was (is) Mother's Day when you have (had) the most awesome Mother on earth, and you damn well know that's what I thought(think) of you. Time hasn't mended my heart much... I keep more than I admit bottled up inside. Maybe it's denial or maybe I just don't want to share anything more than what I type here. I dunno? I am coming up next month. Its going to be hard, coming back to New Castle, especially without you there to get all excited, like a child at Christmas. I have to be there for MY girl Madison, for her graduation and I need to see my sisters and the other girls. They are all I have left Mom. God, I miss you. I miss Laurel. I always sent her a Mothers Day card & this year was different. Coping has been challenging; but I know you would feel miserable to know that I was crying or depressed-so I am just going to say that I love you. Three simple words that have so much meaning. Knowing that you loved me and are missing me too fills my heart with warmth. I hope you are resting, beaming with PRIDE knowing on Mother's Day, that your daughters have become wonderful Mother's themselves and that your grandaughters have you within their thoughts and prayers and memories. What an impact you have made on all the lives that you touched. I miss you my dear sweet Mommie and I always will. Love Paul.
Stacy
Posted on May 17, 2009
Who do I turn to? Your no longer here. I never realized how much I depended on you until you were gone. I'd love to say I'm feeling magenta but I'm feeling more like I'm black and blue. Covered in bruises with the hurt and pain that I carry with me without you. I wish I really was as strong as people think I am. But I'm not. I miss you mom. I miss you so much. How did this happen? You were suppose to live forever. You were suppose to be with me when my girls left home for college. I don't know how I'm going to make it through the rest of my life without you. Sometimes I'm not sure I want to. In times like this I try to remember how much you went through and how you never gave up. You just kept going. Please send some of that strength my way. I love you. I will always love you. And I will continue to miss you with each passing day here on earth. Forever...Stac
Stacy
Posted on June 18, 2009
Hey Bubba. It's going on eight months since you have been gone. It feels like forever. I never realized just how lonely it was going to be if you weren't here. Now I realize. I miss you more than you could ever imagine. Life is not the same. When the phone rings I don't even bother to get up to answer it. I know it's not you. It won't ever be you again. All I have left are my memories. And I am so grateful for all of them. We had so many great times together. I just wish you were still here to make some more. It just didn't feel right not to have you at Madison's graduation. After all , you did help raise her and help to make her who she is today. For you and for that I am eternaly grateful. I just want you to know that I'm trying. Every day I try just a little harder to be strong. I want you to know that everything you ever tried to teach me did not go unheard. And even though losing you was the hardest thing I have ever tried to get through, I gain strength from all that you have taught me. Thank you Mommie.Thank you for everything. You will always be my shining star. I love you. Three Kisses !
STACY
Posted on August 20, 2009
It's been almost nine months. Feels like nine years since I heard your voice or saw your face. It's been so hard not having you here. I try to push it out of my head. I try not to remember that night. Because then it's real. Then your really not here. Then I really won't be able to see you or hear you. I miss you like you could never imagine. It hurts so bad. I will never get use to the feeling. I love you so much. I don't want you to ever forget that. Madison will be moving to Pittsburgh in 6 days. I really wish you were here to see her off. I didn't realize how much I was going to need you until your not here for me to lean on. Thank you Mommie , for helping me to raise incredible children. You were always my rock. Thank you for leaving behind such an awesome brother for me. We are as close as ever and he is the best of all of us. You did a wonderful job. Be very , very proud of all that you have accomplished while you were here. I love you Bubba...Always and Forever...Three Kisses
Paul
Posted on August 25, 2009
Mom,
It has been 10 months today, but it feels like an eternity. I am so lost without you. I can't get you out of my head. I miss you with all my being. It's supposed to get easier, and time is supposed to heal all wounds, but my heart is still broken and I doubt it will ever mend. Would it have been easier if we weren't so close, such best friends? I doubt it. You were my rock and you made me who I am today. Me without you is like peanut butter without jelly. I want to be with you so bad. Thats how it was supposed to be, "us"together forever. . . .I guess forever and happily ever after's are just for make believe, but I do know that you are on my mind constantly and in my heart of hearts forver . . .I miss you terribly Mommie, and love you more than words can ever truley express. . . Muah. Paul
P A U L
Posted on October 1, 2009
Oct 1. . . I know that this is NOT going to be a good month. Not to say that the past 11 have, cause they were hell, but this month will mark the ONE year anniversary of you going to Heaven. I'm coping Mom. I might be in denial? I might be fooling myself? Maybe I am stronger than I thought, but as strong as you always said I was? It doesn't matter. Not much in this life as we know it does. Without you, your voice, knowing that you were ALWAYS there for me, and now one of your pictures is my substitute for the REAL you. I have Stacy, and I am blessed by that cause we love each other as much as you have loved us. We have the same heart. But she is so far away and I miss her too. I continue to want to call you, write you and make cards for you. My heart is still empty & broken, but you are still there in it and always on my mind. I LOVE YOU so much Mom. Thank you for giving me life and for being the best ever. A wonderful Mom and a truely unbelievable friend. . . .the sound of missing you is intense. Love Paul.
Paul
Posted on February 16, 2010
Mom, I know its been awhile since I've posted. . .the holidays were tough. Just not the same without you, your voice, your cards, your spirit. I am still in denial. I still just think I am here and you are in New Castle, and we just haven't spoken to each other in awhile. . .but its far from the truth isnt it? I dont think my heart has any capacity left to love anyone else especially the way I loved you. I have Chet and the girls and the kids, but you were the glue that held it all together. I MISS YOU SO MUCH, all the time. Not one minute of one day goes by that you arent brought up in conversation and always in thought. I know I dont need to write it down here, but the letters we once shared are so precious to me, and this is just another extention of them. Thank you for being you, making me proud and for supporting and loving me. U are loved, U are missed. I adore you. "P"
PAUL
Posted on March 23, 2010
Mommie. . .Today, I am remembering you on what would have been your 65th birthday. No cake, no candles, no presents. I have you in my heart ALWAYS, and when I was born 45 years ago on Mothers Day 1965, you said I was your greatest gift. You, your love and legacy are my greatest presents I could have ever received and will NEVER be replaced. Each day, not a minute goes by without you on my mind, in my thoughts, and in my HEART. I miss you SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much. I truely believe you are watching over me and that I am blessed. I love you Mommie. Always & Forever. Love PAUL 3/23/2010
